the other day as we were getting ready to leave the house

seth: mommy, can i take my girls? (holds up the lingerie section of the khol’s sales paper)

me: really…?

i forgot about this yesterday…while we were working on brady’s timeline project 

me: okay, now you have to draw what you’ll be when you get older

brady: a soldier (reaches for the black marker)

me: are you going to be a black soldier when you get older?

brady: (pausing to think about it) yeah *nods head* 

me: hmmm

me and seth waiting for brady’s bus to come and see an older man walking up the road..

seth: mommy what’s that man doing?
me: ( my first thought was zombie, but i don’t share this with seth..) i dunno seth, i guess he’s exercising. (hopefully not hungry for brains) 
seth: what’s his name?
me: i dunno. 
seth: maybe it’s marco?

my article that appeared in my local paper today.  enjoy.  

A few of my good friends just announced that next year they will welcome their very first child.  I could not be more thrilled for them and I know they will make great parents.  As they begin their journey to parenthood it got me thinking, what type of advice would I give a new parent?  I am still pretty green as far as this parenting thing goes, but there are things I wish someone had told me.  Don’t get me wrong, for I was given plenty of advice, most of which you have to talk with a grain of salt.  But the majority of the adivce was generic and vague.  So here it is, a little advice, whether you asked for it or not.  

Document the entire time!  Start a scrap book or a journal.  I kept a journal and I love being about to go back and read what I went through.  Take tons of pictures.  You will look back and be astounded at how the human body changes to support such and amazing event.  However, consider saving the action shots of the delivery for private albums.  They do not belong on the coffee table or Facebook. 

Read the baby books, but skip the sections that say what “might” go wrong!  Those parts will only terify you.  The books do give a lot of great advice and tips, but being worried for nine months whether your baby will be born with a rare genetic defect, is a horrible way to spend nine months.  You may also want to skip that fun little dialation chart.  They mean well by providing it, but I promise you will never look at a CD the same way again. 

Enjoy yourself!  It will never just be you again.  Soon you will be called by a new name; mom and dad.  Until then try not to sweat the small stuff.  Our fore-mothers brought babies into this world without ever knowing that there was a proper way to breath during labor.  So will you, I promise.  I am not saying to skip the classes, but do not beat yourself up when the big day comes and your wall laid plans end up out the window.  There are plenty of things to be disapointed about in life, like how Starbucks does not serve the pumpkin spice latte year round.  The birth of your child should not be one of those moments.  

After the baby arrives people might tell you that when the baby sleeps is when you can catch up on your housework.  Disregard this.  You sleep when the baby sleeps.  It is that simple.  The clean kitchen is not going to help you at 2 a.m. when your new bundle of joy is having a throw down cry fest, but that nap will.  Also, dads, please do not be offended when your baby mama hovers over you every time you change a diaper or give a bottle.  We cannot help ourselves.  It is in your blood to know how to girll meat; it is in ours to take care of babies.  Endure it and know that the eye twitching is temporary.  

So there you have a few bits of advice from me to you.  The best advice that I was given though was not actually advice, but a simple truth.  It was my best friend’s mother (and soon to be grandmother!) that said to me just weeks before I had my first son that I was about to discover what makes the world go ‘round.  I cannon begin to tell you how right she was. 

“mommy, firefighters should make dem all better with kisses and a band-aid”  seth, age four upon seeing firefighters work a wreck.  oh to be that innocent.  

a convo my hubs and i had on gmail chat while he was at work…

 justin:  ok i love you me:  

me:i love you too, so much. 

justin:  i love your courage and i love your soul 

me:  hope they love my courage too ( i was applying for jobs)

 justin:  i love your ass too, but it’s not important in these matters

he makes me laugh…and I think that’s important. 

on the topic of if they’ll be a chick fil a in our town

mom: it would be nice to have one around here
me: well the people that live on this road might not agree. 
mom: yeah, one of those things you like but don’t want it in your neighborhood. 
me: like crack?

seth:( after i handed him the bag of chocolate goldfish crackers) mom, this kinda looks like dog food. 

me:  well its not, its crackers.  

seth:  but it really looks like dog food.  

me:  seth we don’t even have a dog!  now be quiet and eat your dang snack.

seth:  you mean dog food?

me: hmmmmm

seth:( as we drove by the court house, points to sidewalk) mom, did you take a poop right there?
me: on the sidewalk? no…
seth: you did! i saw you, you did! you took a poop right there in the grass!
me: no..i am 100% sure you’ve never seen that. 

where does he even get this stuff!?

as I was getting ready to head to school this morning I was sitting on the couch ( I had just put my shoes on) seth was standing beside me watching a cartoon..never taking his eyes off the tv the following convo occured..

seth:  i’m gonna kick you in a minute.  

me:  excuse me?

seth:  you heard me.

me: hmmm